there is so much going on in my life right now...

i cant even find the words...

so i wont even begin to try to fit them together enough to make sense.

this is me rambling. this is in my head:

lately, im alone. not physically... because there are people all around me.but emotionally - im alone.

its funny, how you go thru times in your life, when you feel that things are the worst theyve ever been...

dont you just wish that you could fucking look into the future sometimes, and see if things are going to get worse or if it is actually the worst right then...

god, because ive said it so many times before... but i can honestly say that i havent felt this far off course since i moved here. im straying off of this path that i wanted to travel down. and its not exaclty my fault. and theres not alot i can do to get back on track. my life is in the hands of a greater being. im being guided... i have a specific fate... and where i end up is most likely where im supposed to be, my destiny. the person i find myself in, is the person im supposed to be with for the rest of my life, a husband for that matter. the people that i keep in touch with till the time im 50 and older are the people that were really there for me.

ive said it a hundred times, and ill say it a 100 more...

everything happens for a reason, sometimes we just dont know what that reason is.

.... sigh. ill be alright . ive got my family. and ive got my friends?? i just hope theyll hang on to me even tho ill be gone... or just away.

___we won division yesterday for the 4th year in a row____

regrets are worthless...

p.s. fob was amazing. yet the first time ill admit was better. im glad that after the both of us searching forever and forever, me and petey got to talk to eachother. hopefully, this plan in my brain can occur in the real life. it would be the last hoorah.