its funny how the last thing i wrote was about how good i was feeling because of him...

and now ... i havent written in 7 days, and fuck. its been hell.

of course its the distance. what the hell else would it be?

ive feel like ive never been hurt as bad as i am right now, and i feel like ive never tried as hard as i am to make it thru everything.

hes a one and only. he really is. and hes not GONE from me forever... its just different. i understand what he means when he says this is too difficult. but i dont understand why he thinks things will get even worse. =/ why isnt there anything i can do?

i gotta get outta this place and be with him.

hes coming on wednesday again. i dont know whats going to happen, or what im supposed to do.

i want to see him ya know? but im not sure that being around him will make this any easier, i would just want to be held in his arms, and that- just simply cant happen.

simply? what the fuck am i saying... this whole thing is very complex and very complicated.

anyway... graduation is on its way.

i got a dress...

hello college, right?

...sigh