alot of things have been going on lately.

work, finishing school, making plans for spring break [or lack there of], paying bills [more like, debts], birthday approaching in less than a month... etc etc.

but the thing that still bothers me the most is my heart. because inside i cant find a decent place for my feelings to rest. i cant sort out which thoughts i should be having at what time. i cant figure out what words to say to him that will make him understand my emotion. ill never understand why 2 people with so much potential to fall in love, wont - just because a matter of miles falls in the middle of them.

i wish he wasnt so scared.

i wish he wasnt such a wuss to admit.

i understand it is difficult. because IM HERE TOO, duh. im dealing with it just like he is. yet it all just comes back to "oh this is so shitty, it cant work out"

no fuck this.

theres gotta be a better way.

im lost without [you]

by the way, i would be in salt lake right now, with him. if my dad didnt mess up my plans. so dad called me to let me know he got to uncle ralphs in one piece... why couldnt he just have taken me with him? i needed to see jake this weekend. i really did.

whos up for a road trip to SLC over spring break?

...sigh...