i went somewhere tonight. and dug up a part of my past i thought i had finally passed. yet i havent. pushed them aside... tried to forget maybe. tried to move on even. out of sight out of mind was more like it. tonight i remembered how perfect he was. tonight i rememberd how important he made me feel, and how important he was to me. tonight i rememberd the way he felt, and laughed, and smiled. tonight i remembered why i cared about him, and why i wanted him so much. and yes, this night... i remembered why my heart hurt so fucking bad. i was reminded of how much you can share with one person, and how long you will forever remember - and never forget. his big brown eyes stared into my blue ones, and his soft arms wrapped around my smooth ones. it felt normal, and perfect [like he most definitley is]... and then i rememberd how its not that way anymore.

and it wont be. ill go back to seeing him in my dreams.

[this hurts]

and as for J.R.W. theres no telling whats going to happen next.

but as for both of them- i know for sure now, that you cant be friends with someone you werent friends with to begin with. ...

ive had my heart broken by 3 different boys. its funny how the 3 of them are totally different... but are somehow all the same.

[this still hurts]