california was amazing. we stayed in san diego- but spent one of our days on coronado beach - hence my sunburn. it couldnt have been a more pleasent weekend. i swear cali will be my home someday.

dad asked me the other day if i was up for moving back home... of course i said yes. chicago is my heart, and i would do anything to go back to be with my family, and people i love. so we'll see what happens.

today was finally my very last day of highschool. kiss that shit goodbye. my parents and other elders always told me highschool was the best years of their lives... but- highschool to me was an emotional rollercoaster. i wont forget, nor will i regret any of it. tomorrow is Graduation rehersal, i took the day off work [ :) ] im sure itll be a few of the most boring hours of my life, but whatever, no school? no work? thats all good with me.

onto my rambling:

sometimes you compare people to people. and you compare first loves, to second loves. and you compare heartbreaks to heartbreaks. sometimes you compare old best friends to new best friends. i can pinpoint the exact moment i realized that i had first fallen in love. i can tell you, down to the fall of very last tear i cried from my heart breaking. i could even tell you an old memory, in comparison to a new one. point is, is that some things will never change. no matter how much you compare them to something new, or something different. certain things will always be the same. ... things wont ever change -people will.

growing up with someone, and remaining friends is probably one of the greatest things ever. did you know that?

[i did]

summer of 03 was the best time of my life. <3

getting your heart broken is never fun. it happens to all of us. sometimes i wonder why it happens to the best of us? i think one thing that i learned is to never give your heart away too quickly. i gave it away to one boy, and held it out there for him to take, for 4 1/2 years, and he never took it upon himself to nourish it. another boy had my heart and soul since we were about 4, and milage was was our only issue. i read a letter he wrote me today - ironic eh? - perhaps. or maybe i was supposed to read it. it made me cry, well the very last part did. ...sigh. but wait- i said some things never change right? so maybe - ive got nothing to worry about. who knows.

MEANWHILE. nate is calling me out of control. like i said - im stopped at this big red line - it falls before my heart. although im not passing over it- he keeps progressing moving forward [slowly], and hes getting mighty close. [lets not let this be a repeat of last year]...and about my boy from 16 candles- he doesnt know it, but he'll be seeing my shining face [lol yeah sure] on june 11th if plans still hold up.

boys always seem to pick up haggard ass girls and give them chances. whats even worse is when they get the crazy bitches - and give THEM chances over girls like me. [theres only one other girl who i KNOW is EXACTLY like me, she knows who she is too] but honestly. i laughed when my brother gave this Bi-Polar herpes infested girl a chance- until she flipped out on him one day, and then he found out she had the Herp. then she got to some of my friends. and the ugly girls is the worst. when i see my cute friends, dating HEINOUS ass girls. or the boys im attracted to- dating girls that look B E A T. it makes me want to be jealous- then im like ...wait, WHAT? be jealous of pyschotic girls that look all busted? mmmm no- id rather be me. the virgin, who gets the guys, but cant hold onto them for too long. lol

oh well. i guess the ones that come and go, arent the ones that are meant to stay. right? right.

i need music right now. music is my savior.

so much for doing something tonight! im pissed Yosh was supposed to go bowling with me tonight, instead he went to Planes w/o meeee! [p.s. gatsby is coming, tom me and you babe me and you]

5 days til graduation

about 10 days til kaysville

less than 20 days til the cruise

less than 25 days MY HOME.

- down with the sickness.

im fuckin done talking about nothing. im getting a phonecall right now as we speak.

[stacey it was good seeing you today, i love you!... and the Az. Boys are comin this weekend. siqqq bro...haha]

out-

MESTupGrLuvsMXPX: everyone gets what they deserve. im one of those karma people.

XMycX: I'm sorta like that, but mine doesn't center around Hindu beliefs.

MESTupGrLuvsMXPX: mine either

MESTupGrLuvsMXPX: haha

XMycX: LIES!!!!!

MESTupGrLuvsMXPX: lies!? where? get those damn lies outta here. no one wants those.

MESTupGrLuvsMXPX: :]

XMycX: Agreed!!!!! *kick*

MESTupGrLuvsMXPX: *punch*

XMycX: *block, win fight*

MESTupGrLuvsMXPX: [were totally beating the shit out of these lies]

XMycX:

MESTupGrLuvsMXPX: haha we are so cool its amazing

XMycX: Hella. Its true!