i love how im one of the most hated girls i know.

i think its saucesome.

maybe some people shouldnt spend so much time concentrating on hating someone, and get on with their own pathetic lives.

i dont know how many of you have noticed the pathetic bickering between me and "meGGan" in my guestbook. but she happens to be michaels girlfriend.

do i care that he has a girlfriend? haha, no. im always glad to hear that he finds someone else to make him happy, through our time apart. it was the same way when he was with natalia.

my mom and my aunt, swear up and down he broke up with her because of me.

whatever.

anyway- shes insane, and for the past couple weeks has been freaking out about her and mikes relationship on the line because im coming to town in less than 2 weeks. [thank god, i miss home] while, im over here in not-so-awesome vegas, doin my thang, gradutating staying drama free...w00t!

to clear things up, just a little bit:

adam wesley williams- the boy who stole my heart away, and made me fall for him. for 4 1/2 years of my life, i spent chasing him...loving him. adam was honestly my first love. and what a heartbreaker it was, because he always just wanted to be best friends. [explain the countless hookups?and heartfilled words?]

patrick michael harter- off and on, couldnt ever help myself. was completely twitterpaited with this boy. haha hes still cool. P.S. im not a groupie due to the fact that we were hooking up long before the higher came along [YAY BOYS!]

eric-john beattie- he was awesome for the most part. we had a cool relationship. i was hated by many many girls in highschool just because of the fact that he was my boyfriend. him being one of the most popular senior boys- me being just a little sophmore at the time. we rocked. he fell in love with me, which i didnt fall back for him- and he left to become mister Resident Advisor of his dorms at UNR, and is accomplishing very much in his life- but has now turned big headed. so blah.

robert george kovacs- umm. no. what a lame relationhsip that was. hey robert- by the way, if youre reading this, no offense... our relationship was a joke. and youve heard me tell you to fuck off many times before. i still say you got what you deserved.

Nathan "thefamousboy" Berkheimer-lets not get started on him, or my heart will break all over again. he did some of THEe most incredible things, and gave me some of the most precious possessions i have ever recieved.but basically- if things wouldve continued how they were, i would have fallen face first into love with him. this boy was my dream come true. we were amazing together. it just sucks that he didnt[and still doesnt]knwo what he wants. but hes defintiley beautiful, and always will be.

Justin Robert Bauley- this is one fucking sexy boy. i think what drew us together in the first place was the whole summer thing. but what really got us into eachother was snowboarding. i will definitley never forget our road trip to brian head, and how fucking cold it was. but - the car ride with us in the back seat was the best part. le sigh.. :] it wouldve been cool to have more of a relationship, but im sure it would never work out. im still a sucker for his smile, and septum piercing. <3

Jake-Ryan Woodyatt- asldk;fj. ive had the most wonderful times with this boy- yet some of the biggest tears i think ive cried came from him. and i think its beacuse hes so pure, and true to himself. and him and i are both so sure of the fact that if i lived in salt lake with him, we would be together, and madly in love. but thats just not the case now is it.?forever will we have this inconstant relationship, where our feelings rise and fall at the beginning and ending of our late night conversations. 16 candles. <33

Michael Vincent Ehrenberg- should we start back in the childhood days?

...

playing power rangers in the street.

riding bikes.

block parties

running thru sprinklers.

mcwhinny club picknicks, and christmas parties.

drama with our uncles.

im always mean to you about being mean to tony.

waterballoons and squirt guns.

your glasses, and long hair.

your gangster clothes..

MY music.

OUR friendship.

my cousin.

my family...your family.

our dads in highschoool :] haha

mark paoli

john jubba!

wrightwood park

the carnival at the end of the block.

your christmas calls

my birthday cards

your compilation cds for me

"hey, its binary code man"

drawing all over your house with sidewalk chalk

yelling in the street

random drunken phonecalls [you yelled first, i yelled second]

letters, postcards and pictures galore.

your videos youve made of me...

of us.

the picture of you, with the spoon on your nose that is STILL in the frame next to my bed.

watching the skulls on my uncles couch.

kissing for the first time outside the back door at my grams house.

throwing tennis balls and hitting you in the weenie.

me being abusive to you

"the only thing i have ghetto is my ass"

me downloading all my favoite bands on your computer

the cubs

your baseball

my soccer

soulmates...

-

the list goes on and on...

our sweet goodbyes... and our never ending love. itll always be, just you and me, forever and always in my heart. no matter what, thru the distance.we'll never part. we're always held together by the strings stitched to bind our hearts. i told you mikey moo, that growing up and moving on - wouldnever change that fact that i love you for all of eternity.

the 4 letter word that starts with L and ends in OVE is a term thrown around too much, and not taken as harshly as it should. ive never actually been in an all for real relationship with the people ive cared about the most. due to the most ridiculous things ever.

but i leave my everything in the hands of fate- and i know it will take me to the right place.

"julie, its 2 in the morning and i cant sleep. i just read your letter you sent me back in Feb. and i couldnt help but to start crying. That letter describes the way i want my life to be. the girl who wrote that letter is the one i wanted to be with this summer. the one who calls me baby, the one who i can have in my arms more than 20 seconds. the same girl who reminds me that we are going to complete our lives together.i feel like this time around im just some regular guy... i dont know maybe im just a retard when you say youre leaving its like you done even care. like it doesnt matter that we wont see eachother for however many years it may be. Maybe i shouldnt even be writing this to you but its just how i have been feeling. when you are gone all i am going to have is your music. i will be reminded of you by every fucking song. and all i want to remember is you telling me that you love me. thats all i need to make it till next time. if ever your feelings change, you BETTER tell me so i dont get crushed when i ask you to be my wife. I LOVE YOU."

im not scared. i have no reason to be.

but anyway - Kevi's party is tonight, so im gonna go take a shower, and peace the fuck outta this place.

sounds like a damn good plan.

P.S. if i could go back to that night hilary got in a fight, and i jumped in and kicked that girl in the back- i would have kicked her in the fucking face instead. or in the ass, so then literally if i said i kicked her ass, i wouldnt be lying. [fuck im so awasome sometimes ]

P.S.S - youd be cuter if i shot you in the face.