first of all, i just got off the phone with phil - let me remind everyone to listen to his amazing band A THORN FOR EVERY HEART. next - he told me hes still on tour with JEW... and hearing tour stories, and how cool the guys in jimmy are, is just fun stuff. ... anyway-
all i have to say is that my trip to vegas was great. although there were things that i would have like to do, that i didnt get to... or things i wanted to do more- that i didnt get to... but either way, i guess it was worth it. ... minus the drama maybe.

i loved seeing heather. my wonderful, beautiful and dearest best friend. you help me so much, you dont even know. i love you <33... i wish you and lindse would have told me you were in town, we all couldve been together. i think we all needed it- hopefully you still get your ass out here though. a;lsdkfj

tom, i wish i couldve seen you more on my trip. its my fault. [isnt it always?] sometimes i really believe that im a shitty best friend to you. i just read your entry, and i know exactly how you feel. maybe you and i really will turn out someday. we're so alike, yet so different - who knows ya know? all i DO know is that you WILL be in my life forever. because i LA LA LA LOVEEEEEE YOUUUUU.

losing nick has been the hardest thing ever ... why? because against anyone before him- ive had my defense. and even though ive dealt with a broken heart before... ive always come out okay, no boy has ever gotten the best of me until now. hes touched every single inch of my body- every square centimeter of my heart. heathers right when she talks about how i love him, because anytime before ive been able to shake it off within time- and say "hey he doesnt want me, fuck it" and id move on. this hurts. this kills. trying to deal with this is murder. my heart bleeds emotion. it bleeds lost love. it bleeds hope-
i wish i didnt get so much credit for being strong, because i havent been faced with a situation like this before. and look at me. do you read what im fucking writing? its pathetic. that im sitting here, in the middle of a sunday afternoon, and all im thinking about is how emmense this pain is.

FUCK ALL OF THIS ... SEORIUASLDKJFAS;KLDJASDL;KFJAS; LDKFJA;LDKSJFA;LSDKJFA;LDKSFJA; LSKDJFL;AKSJDF;LAKSJDFLA;KSDJFA ;LDSKJFA;LSDKJFAL;DSKJFAL;DKSJF LA;SDKJFA;LKSJFD;LAKSJF;LAKSJF A;LKDJFLA;KSDJ

Julie is done.
julie is hurt, julie is hurt real bad.
julie doesnt want to feel this anymore.