i cant believe this is happening.
just a few weeks til our 6 month mark, and we're breaking up.
the boy i thought for sure knew that he wanted to be with me.
the boy i thought for sure would want me.
the boy i thought for sure wouldnt leave me.

i love him, so much.
i cant even begin to describe this feeling.
i've been hurt before. by plenty of guys.
never like this.
it shouldnt be like this.
i dont understand.
i thought he loved me?
i thought i've taught him so many things.
i thought i've helped him to become a better person.
i thought he wanted to grow and experience things with me.

and now, just because he doesnt know exactly what he wants to do with his future... thats it?
i'm gone?

i dont think i'll ever know exactly what i want to do with my life, but what i DO know is that i dont want to be without him.
not like this.
not now, not ever.

i have a plane ticket with my name on it thats supposed to be flying me out to him in 2.5 weeks.
do i go?
or do i not?

im crushed.